Fast & Furious 8

As I have seen all of the other atrocious films in this series, I thought I may as well watch the latest (on Amazon Prime). Five minutes in I was regretting my decision, but as I have a policy of finishing every film I start, I carried on.

The opening scene involved a race between Vin Diesel and a repo-man who at first seemed like a really obnoxious guy, but after Vin won in the most ridiculous way possible (of course), he turned out to be a stand-up guy after Vin won him over.

It was all even more downhill from there with all of the usual over-the-top action sequences, bravado, silly one-liners and predictable jokes, and what-not. The CG in places was terrible.

But, there were two scenes which saved the whole film from instant bargain-bin DVD hell. The first was Helen Mirren. She was very funny as the hard-talking, potty-mouthed mother of Jason Statham’s character. She only had a few minutes in all, but she alone made it all worthwhile. Another scene involving Jason Statham and a baby on a plane as he fought off several bad guys was funny too. Kurt Russell was good because he is Kurt Russell. Everything else was pretty forgettable, in fact it is already disappearing from my long-term memory.

I am quite convinced the story was written by a bunch of teenagers, and all of the dialogue was ad-libbed by the actors to save money so they could spend it on sports cars and a submarine. Vin Diesel was probably told to mention how important family is, and to say it at least 100 times throughout the film.

Looking back at my Fast & Furious 7 review I see that I enjoyed it, mostly because it was just so over-the-top and silly fun. This one though was just more of the same, too much of the same.

The next installment is due out in 2020…I guess I am bound to watch it.

Date watched: February 10th
Score: 3/10
Film count 2018: 12

Crank

Finding a good film on Hulu+ is very hard now, there is no good stuff left to watch. So I chose this thinking it was probably got going to be any good.

But it turned out to get quite funny and silly. Jason Statham was a hitman, and was given a drug at the beginning of the film by a gangster who wanted him dead. The drug was some special Chinese drug that took an hour to kill, but Jason Statham figured out that by keeping his adrenalin pumping he could stay alive. So there you have the premise for the film, quite a brilliant one for an action film, a good excuse to have non-stop mayhem, and perfect for Jason Statham.

So he was running around looking for adrenalim rushes. He drove his car through a shopping mall as he was chased by cops, robbed a store and took off with several cans of Red Bull which he chugged away at, picked fights, went into a hospital to get epinephrine (adrenalin) and for some reason changed into a patient gown, then escaped from the cops who were looking for him there and ran out into the streets with his bum showing and attacked a motorcycle cop and sped off with his bike, and went on to cause much more adrenalin-inducing chaos and destruction.

A lot of it did not make sense such as the sudden costume changes, and injuries such as a badly injured leg seemingly coming right, then coming back, and other things which really do not matter as it is a Jason Stratham film.

It was a bit crude in places, but overall it was a hoot and required no brain activity. I’ll have to watch more Jason Statham films.

The title Crank comes from the slang word for methamphetamine.

Date watched: May 8th
Score: 7/10
Film count 2015: 64

Killer Elite

Despite the silly name I got this out as it had Jason Statham and Robert DeNiro.

Just a standard action flick, although it is apparently based on a true story but reading about it on Wikipedia leads me to believe it is not at all. Robert DeNiro is not in it very much, and doesn’t really put much into it. Jason Statham is his usual self. It also has Dominic Purcell from Prison Break, and he was quite good.

Fun to watch but forgettable.

Date watched: July 13th
Score: 6.5/10
Film count 2013: 83
Rotten Tomatoes score – 25%