Kill Them All and Come Back Alone
This is an Italian/Spanish 1968 spaghetti western starring Chuck Connors, he of the manly chin. Again I am presuming most people will not watch this, so there are spoilers galore.
The story is quite simple, and fun. Basically it is about a Confederate prisoner who is hired to go and steal a whole lot of Union gold. There are the usual double-crossings and downright dirty scoundrel business goings-on.
We are introduced to the team that will do the heist at the beginning of the film. The Confederate high command tasks the group to infiltrate their camp and get to the General, if they do this then they are hired for the job. So Chuck’s bandits get into the camp ninja style and cause general mayhem, and with ease get to the general… they’re hired!
Chuck Connors is the leader of the group, his skills are that he is the brains of the group, and he loves a good fist fight. There is “Blade” who is expert at throwing knives and is half Indian, half Mexican. “Bogard” the he-man of the group, and likes to say “Haa haa haa!” a lot. A young blond guy called “the Kid” who is the acrobat and a “pure killer”. The dynamite expert, “Deker”. And “Hoagy” is the gun-slinger of the group. Here is Chuck himself introducing the group.
The reason this is called “Kill Them All and Come Back Alone” is that Chuck is tasked to carry out this operation, then kill all of his group before bringing back the gold. Chuck does not flinch at this, but later on does not keep that end of the bargain.
So the story just follows them as they brawl, kill, blow things up, infiltrate some more, double-cross each other, and die one by one as they go for the gold. It is a cheap version of a spaghetti western, but it was fun to watch and had a great ending shot. Chuck turned out to be the one to get all the gold in the end, which he had hidden at the bottom of a pond. After killing off the last dude he needed to kill to get the gold all for himself, he dives into the pond, swims down, and gleefully plays with the glorious gold with a huge Chuck grin on his face. Priceless!
All of the main cast are now dead, except for Blade and the Kid. Chuck died in 1992 aged 71. He and Leonid Brezhnev were good buddies don’t you know? Chuck was also one of only twelve athletes to have played both major league baseball and in the National Basketball Association. Quite a guy was Chuck. The guy he fought at the very end committed suicide in 1971. The he-man died in a car accident in 1971, and he was actually an accomplished Spanish pro-wrestler.
Overall it was entertaining, but cannot compare to the Eastwood spaghetti westerns. Still, it has Chuck so is worth it.
Date watched: May 1st
Film count 2016: 75