Last night I finished watching ‘Wine, Women and War’, a two-part series that was originally made as a TV movie before the series proper began. It was quite weird at times. Things happen for no reason, strange dialogue, abrupt editing, and bizarre events.
Basically the story involved Steve on a mission to nick off with an arms catalogue from an arms dealer’s boat on some South American island,the feds wanted to see this catalogue badly. To cut a long simple story short, Steve doesn’t find the catalogue, a lady friend of his is killed, Steve is pissed when he finds out Oscar Goldman sent him on a wild goose chase because Oscar kinds knew he wouldn’t find anything and he is pissed his lady friend is killed, she was a princess apparently.
So he throws a temper tantrum and buggers off to another South American island to take a break, organised by his old NASA buddy who actually is under orders from Oscar to send him there to complete the mission.
Eventually, he finds out he has been tricked, gets a bit pissed about that but agrees to get the arms dealer because he is on a revenge mission, he said something like ‘Gonna kill his arms dealing ass’. So through pure natty sleuthing and sneaking around he finds out where the arms dealer is and what he is up to. The arms dealer is gonna sell a nuke or two to an old Russian space dude friend of Steve’s (played by David McCallum).
The nukes are stored in a large underground bunker under a graveyard so Steve jumps out of an airplane and parachutes into the graveyard, saves David McCallum and an American spy ladyfriend he met earlier in the episode. Problem is while escaping and being chased by the baddies David McCallum gets shot and dies so Steve and the spy lady bugger off into the bunker. Steve busts up the door so Arms Dealer cannot get in for a while and then rigs a Polaris nuclear missile the arms dealer nicked to the silo door controls, specifically silo No.7. The spy lady asks Steve why and Steve says ‘Gonna leave him a little surprise!’. Steve and the spy lady escape out a hatch into the graveyard, Steve then picks her up then starts running like a bugger.
The arms dealer guy meanwhile gets his henchmen to break into the bunker and tries to find Steve by opening every silo door one by one, starting at silo one. This gives Steve time to again run like a bugger as far away as he can, so his idea to use silo No.7 was a smart move eh? Finally, the arms dealer pushes the button to open silo No.7 and the missile rockets out and we briefly see him crap his pants while the rocket goes straight at him.
Cut to Steve and the girl admiring a huge mushroom cloud from afar and Steve saying ‘That’s for killing my lady friend and David McCallum”. Wowza, Steve has a bit of a temper.
The end credits were the best part. For a brief moment we see the mushroom cloud billowing up into the sky, the credits start and some tropical-flavour happy music plays. Wow! They don’t make TV like that nowadays.